As promised, I am coming at ya with some personality resources. This may get a bit long, and technical, so fasten your seat belts folks.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Far and away, the resource hubby and I find ourselves going back to most often is the Myers Briggs Type Indicator or MBTI. If you have ever heard people throwing around letters like INFP or ESTJ, you have heard of MBTI. Each letter represents your leaning in four different groupings.
- Introversion (I) or Extraversion (E)
Deals how you interact with your surroundings and how you are energized. An introvert tends to be energized by time alone, where extroverts tend to be energized by social interaction. Important to mention here, whether you are and I or an E, participating in both alone time and social interaction is SO IMPORTANT! (Like I said last week, knowing what energizes you is good, but letting that be an excuse is not so good.)
- Intuition (N) or Sensing (S)
Describes how we direct our mental energy. This pairing, I find (especially in self-development or Christian circles) is often misunderstood. When we think intuitive, we think in touch with emotions, or being aware of the intricacies of your own thoughts and that of others. While this is true in some senses of the word, in this context that has more to do with the next grouping, how you process decisions and emotion. This pairing deals with how you TAKE IN the information. So, Intuition here is a person who perceive the world as it could be, dreamers and read-between-the-line types. Where Sensing represents those of us who are more pragmatic, and take in the world with out 5 senses.
- Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
Deals with how we make decisions and cope with emotion. The thinkers prioritize logic and reason, while the feelers prioritize feelings and empathy. On Monday I talked about how hubby and I differ here.
- Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)
Deals with how we approach work, planning and decision-making. Judging personalities are typically organized and methodical while perceiving personalities are great improvisers.
For all things MBTI we love 16 Personalities. The type test takes about ten minutes to complete and offers so much insight into your particular type. The test results will show you how heavily you responded towards one aspect or the other and offer insight into how you relate in various spheres such as romantic relationships, friendships, parenthood, career, etc. They often publish new articles and resources and include fun little tidbits (like celebrities, or movie/book characters that share your personality).
The verdict is out for me whether I am an ISFJ or ESFJ with a difference of only 7% favoring extroversion. This makes me either the Consul, or the Defender. There are aspects of both that strongly resonate, and some that do not. But I do resonate with being an introverted-extrovert so perhaps that explains it!
A favorite of Hubby’s that I am recently diving into is the Enneagram. This separates personality into 9 different types, titled by numbers (as to avoid placing perceived value over any particular type, as is sometimes a pitfall with MBTI and others). While we may see aspects of each of the 9 personalities within ourselves, one or two tend to be dominant. These types reflect the way we perceive and respond to the world from our earliest stages of life, and how strongly we relate to them varies because we fluctuate between the healthy, average, and unhealthy traits within that personality. This healthy/average/unhealthy trait descriptions are perhaps the most helpful aspect of the Enneagram typing. You can test your enneagram type here, and I strongly suggest listening to this podcast after reading about your type (but definitely take the test first!)
I am a 2 wing 3 followed closely by 6 wing 7. This means I am a helper with a bent towards achieving, followed closely by a loyalist with a bent towards enthusiasm. Without even going into detail, the titles sounds about right if you know me, am-I-right?
On a very practical level, understanding your love language is so helpful. This measure the way you tend to show and receive love based on 5 types; quality time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. There is a fantastic book which allows you to dive into this in greater depth, but even a basic understanding of your own, and your loved ones, love language will do wonders. See, we tend to receive and show love in the same way, but the people we are giving that love to might not receive in the way that we show, this is where breakdowns can happen and the ones we love can feel uncared for or unseen. So, Hubby ranks very high in words of affirmation, while that is important to me, it is not my primary language as it is for him. So, it does not come as naturally to me, but recognizing that in him, and making a point to love him in that way, has made all. the. difference. You can take a test for yourself (or for your children, which i would imagine would be SO HELPFUL) on their website.
So the four tendencies are very new to me, and relatively new to the world, and I have found it suprisingly powerful. Gretchen Rubin formulated these four types based on all the information she accumulated while working on her book Better Than Before. Her work centers on habits to create a more fulfilling life, so in complimenting fashion, these tendencies deal with how you respond to expectations, both inner and outer. Though we often share aspects of them all, according to her website the four types are:
- Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations
- Questioners question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation if they think it makes sense
- Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike
- Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves
You can determine what you are with her quiz found here. Understanding where you fall within these four tendencies can be so helpful in helping set and reach your goals. For example, I am an obliger to the max, so when I have a goal to achieve, I will be SO MUCH MORE likely to accomplish that goal when I get others involved, have accountability and/or investment in the goal. On the opposite end, a rebel would be completely deterred from reaching their goal with accountability, since the outer expectation actually makes them run in the opposite direction.
So there you have it, just a few assessments that will hopefully provide you with as much helpful insight as it has for us. Please follow those links and dive in! I only provided a brief overview here but there is so much more to learn and discover. How freeing is it to feel understood and like you are not alone? How helpful is it to understand the ones you love (or better yet, those who you don’t quite get along with) so that you can care for them more personally?
Have I mentioned that Hubby and I eat this stuff up? PLEASE tell me what you think, tell me other resources you use, tell me if any of this was helpful for you?! I love your feedback.
Thanks for popping in!